I’ve been trying to figure how why I have so much trouble seeing “signs” and communicating with loved ones. I’ve been trying to figure out why I don’t initiate sex, even though I want it. I’ve been trying to figure out why I get so stressed and overwhelmed so easily, especially when it comes to abstract ideas and non-routine situations. I am open to doing things last minute, and actually enjoy it; but, I can’t function without at least making a plan. I get lost in the emptiness of what to do next.
Well, I thought maybe… just maybe, I was hyperlexic. Turns out, I think I actually have Asperger’s Syndrome. Here are some details and my notes (underneathe).
Persons with Asperger syndrome (AS) share some of the same characteristics as individuals with autism, and there is debate on whether AS is an independent diagnostic category or another dimension at the higher end of the autistic continuum (Szatmari, 1995).
Asperger syndrome is characterized by a qualitative impairment in social interaction. Individuals with AS may be keen to relate to others, but do not have the skills, and may approach others in peculiar ways (Klin & Volkmar, 1997).
I always try to relate to others, but it is extremely difficult for me. Still, I try and try and try. I do have persistence, for damn sure!
They frequently lack understanding of social customs and may appear socially awkward, have difficulty with empathy, and misinterpret social cues. Individuals with AS are poor incidental social learners and need explicit instruction in social skills.
I often repeat myself and try overly hard to sympathize more than I probably should. I think I overcompensate. I often misinterpret social cues. I miss nuance and jokes constantly.
Although children with AS usually speak fluently by five years of age, they often have problems with pragmatics (the use of language in social contexts), semantics (not being able to recognize multiple meanings) and prosody (the pitch, stress, and rhythm of speech) (Attwood, 1998).
I was speaking very young; but, throughout my life, all three of these (pragmatics, semantics and prosody) have been the bane of my existence – especially semantics.
Students with AS may have an advanced vocabulary and frequently talk incessantly about a favorite subject. The topic may be somewhat narrowly defined and the individual may have difficulty switching to another topic.
My vocabulary is ok. I wouldn’t say it’s advanced. I do talk incessantly about subjects I enjoy. People constantly cut me off or tell me I’m repeating myself.
They may have difficulties with the rules of conversation. Students with AS may interrupt or talk over the speech of others, may make irrelevant comments and have difficulty initiating and terminating conversations.
In high school, I learned how to stop talking over people. I find myself doing it here and there, but it’s mostly out of my system. I do listen, despite what some people think. I do have trouble initiating sex and terminating conversations. I don’t often initiate in groups (talking), but I stand there and listen til I find a way in. I initiate conversations when I feel lonely, but this is learned. I didn’t do this as a kid. I learned it in high school. I was extremely shy growing up!
Speech may be characterized by a lack of variation in pitch, stress and rhythm and, as the student reaches adolescence, speech may become pedantic (overly formal).
I used to speak very fast and without pitch. I learned how to speak properly to people in middle school. I was extremely formal in my speech growing up. I still notice it from time to time, but I have learned how to differentiate when I should and should not treat people like elders or subordinates.
Social communication problems can include standing too close, staring, abnormal body posture and failure to understand gestures and facial expressions.
I do not have a space intrusion issue. I don’t think I intrude. My posture seems to be ok. I do not read facial expressions very well, but I am learning. I was awful at this as a kid, but I started to learn more about facial expressions after studying photography at age 15.
The student with AS is of average to above average intelligence and may appear quite capable. Many are relatively proficient in knowledge of facts, and may have extensive factual information about a subject that they are absorbed with. However, they demonstrate relative weaknesses in comprehension and abstract thought, as well as in social cognition. Consequently, they do experience some academic problems, particularly with reading comprehension, problem solving, organizational skills, concept development, and making inferences and judgments. In addition, they often have difficulty with cognitive flexibility. That is their thinking tends to be rigid. They often have difficulty adapting to change or failure and do not readily learn from their mistakes (Attwood, 1998).
No comments. This statement is DEAD ON in every aspect!
It is estimated that 50%-90% of people with AS have problems with motor coordination (Attwood, 1998). The affected areas may include locomotion, ball skills, balance, manual dexterity, handwriting, rapid movements, lax joints, rhythm and imitation of movements.
I crash into walls a lot and actually failed handwriting until I was about 12, but I don’t seem to have other motor issues. At least that I know of…
Individuals with AS may also be inattentive and easily distracted and many receive a diagnosis of ADHD at one point in their lives (Myles & Simpson, 1998).
I had been told once, in college by a professor, that he thought I had ADHD. I ignored him. I do seem inattentive to people close to me. I’ve been told this many times. At work, I have been told I am very distracted. This is not a good thing at all.
Anxiety is also a characteristic associated with AS. It may be difficult for the student to understand and adapt to the social demands of school. Appropriate instruction and support can help to alleviate some of the stress.
I had a lot of learning and test anxiety growing up… even through college. I hated tests. I also freaked out when I would have to discuss what I was supposed to have read the night before. It’s not that I didn’t have time to read. I just didn’t understand what I read. I am so glad I am not in school right now! That anxiety was just awful! I remember it well.
Difficulties with language
* tendency to make irrelevant comments
Yeah, I’ve been called out on this. Not often in the past few years though.
* tendency to interrupt
I really try not to do this, but I have been told I do this sometimes.
* tendency to talk on one topic and to talk over the speech of others
Yeah, I do this.
* difficulty understanding complex language, following directions, and understanding intent of words with multiple meanings
This is 100% me.
* have a lot of trouble with metaphors and words with double meanings
Yep
* Often asks for instruction to be repeated, simplified or written down
Did that all my life, even in college.
Insistence on sameness
* Needs help preparing for potential change
Yeah, I don’t adjust to change well. I can handle spontaneity, but change takes lots of understanding and hard work.
* use of pictures, schedules and stories
Yes… yes… yes…
Impairment in social interaction
* difficulty understanding the rules of social interaction
Yes, growing up. I know I still screw up sometimes, but I mostly have this under control.
* may be naïve
I have been told this is me, by many people.
* interprets literally what is said
100% me
* difficulty reading the emotions of others
100% me
* lacks tact
Have been told this, many many times – esp by people close to me.
* difficulty understanding “unwritten rules” and when they do learn them, may apply them rigidly
I have had this called out to me throughout my life… I tend to be very rigid and literal in my application of what I learn and read.
* Needed excess teaching regarding flexibility, cooperation and sharing
It took me til about 10th grade, but I finally got it!
Poor concentration
* often off task and distractable
100% me
* may be disorganized
Without my palm and notes, definitely!
* difficulty sustaining attention
Yes, I always thought I had an attention disorder. I constantly get distracted and lose focus, esp if interrupted. I just take waaaaaay too long to get back on track, sometimes up to 30 min!
* usually site at the front
Always, unless I was depressed and wanted to be left alone.
Poor organizational skills
* Need to use schedules and calendars
Always
* maintain lists of assignments
Without lists, I am lost
Poor motor coordination
* may prefer fitness activities to competitive sports
Yes! I hated competitive sports. I much preferred fitness, and still do.
* may be more skilled at using a keyboard than writing
Hell yes. I write so slow and can’t keep up with good notes. I am so much faster and better at typing notes.
Academic difficulties
* usually average to above average intelligence
I’ve been told I’m pretty smart
* good recall of factual information
Of things I am interested in, and random things such as all the phone numbers I’ve ever had, how to get places I’ve only been to once as a kid, and quotes from favorite movies/shows. Random things I enjoy.
* areas of difficulty include poor problem solving, comprehension problems and difficulty with abstract concepts
Yep, me 100%
* Often strong in word recognition and may learn to read very early, but difficulty with comprehension
100% me, again
* May do well at mathematical computations, but have difficulty with problem solving
That’s why I got 100% in algebra, but needed tutoring in calculus.
* For teachers and friends:
1. don’t assume that the student has understood simply because he/she can re-state the information
So so so true!
2. be as concrete as possible in presenting new concepts and abstract material
Please!!!!
3. break down tasks into smaller steps or present it another way
This would help me a lot!
4. provide direct instruction as well as modeling and show examples of what is required
Without examples and directness, I am 100% LOST!!!! I can’t even begin to understand you or know what you are talking about!
5. avoid verbal overload
Yeah, I won’t be able to follow you
6. Do not assume that they have understood what they have read. Check for comprehension!
Please, for the love of God!!! Please check for comprehension, don’t assume anything. I probably did NOT get it!
Emotional vulnerability
* may have difficulties coping with the social and emotional demands
I avoid drama like the plague. I just can’t keep up or offer any advice.
* easily stressed due to inflexibility
Yeah, but I’m working on this
* often have low self-esteem
Until about age 17, yes. I’m good now!
* may have difficulty tolerating / making mistakes
True. I really can’t handle mistakes… especially if I made them! I am really hard on myself.
* may be prone to depression
Ya think! 😉 Those who know me well know that I fall deep (even though I hide it very well from most people).
* may have rage reactions and temper outbursts
Not since I was a kid. I think this is totally under control.
* Requires positive praise and being told what she/he does right or well
Yes, I am a very confident person; but, I really do need to be told I did things right and that I’m on the right track. It’s my brain, not my spirit that needs your help here!
* Difficulty dealing with stress
Yeah, I kinda panic and freeze
* educate others about disorder / issues
I always try to teach people how to work with me. Most people don’t believe me when I say I don’t understand them or didn’t ‘get’ something; but, maybe they will now.
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I have a lot more to learn, but I think I’m starting to see the big picture come together.
I’ve had a lot of cards stacked against me lately: 3 lay-offs, Penny’s death, starting a new job that is not easy for me (pride and finances down, stress level up), and John leaving me due to lack of sex initiation (which had nothing to do with what I wanted and felt – since I really did crave / want him, but was actually caused by low free testosterone levels, job and money depression, depression after losing Penny, and perhaps my lack of initiation due to having AS).
To get me through my hard times, my greatest happiness was having someone I love who loved me too. I guess I was wrong though… he didn’t really love me. He just thought he did. If he loved me, he would not have left me over this. He would have gone to the ends of the earth to make things work and figure out what was wrong. He only took his own feelings and issues into consideration, not mine. That’s not love, and that makes me really sad.
I can’t wait to meet and fall in love with someone I am just as attracted to, but who also really, truly loves me and will never give up on me (even when I am stressed and depressed)!
