Jun 28 2009
I really wish I could go back in time to the old west for a vacation. I hate that I am limited to visiting places in the present time period. I want to experience different cultures that are long gone. It’d be nice if my dreams took me there at least, but that never happens. …
Jun 22 2009
Friday – watched a bunch of episodes of Psych with Megan & Maria Saturday – photographed a wedding in Palmdale with Michele. It was quite small, but we worked it as if it were 200 people! I know we got some great shots! Stayed up late hanging out with Michele and downloading pix. Had trouble …
Jun 18 2009
Sandy is on my lap. Aurora is by my side. Dagan is behind my head on the back of the couch. Gracie is on the bed. I love kitty nap time! I tried to sleep in today, but ended up waking up at 9am, but I did get about 8 hours of sleep – very …
Jun 17 2009
I know a lot of people say this, but I really really mean it. I wake up every day before my alarm clock from awful dreams. Each one of them involves John. Some are great and I wake up sad that he’s not here. Others are terrible and I wake up in a panic, reminding …
Jun 14 2009
3pm to 8:45pm – Photographed a wedding in Pasadena with Michele 9pm to 11pm – Reviewed photos with Michele 11:38pm – Arrive at Koji’s. Order a drink and sign up for some singin’ 11:45pm – Singing Toad the Wet Sprocket (of course) Sometime after 11:50pm – Elysia & Jay show up. Sometime after 12:30am – …
Jun 10 2009
Yes, I know this. I also know it is the place that I go to reach out to the millions or couple of people who want to read about what I am thinking, feeling, or going through. It helps me feel connected to the world, as I am often very lonely (even in crowds of …
Jun 07 2009
I’m not in a good place right now, to be honest. I’m feeling guilty for being open about my feelings and heartbreak. I’m not feeling loved or supported right now, and I think this is a very limited view; but, it is one that is consuming me at the moment. Regardless, I did have a …
Jun 06 2009
Long post – ye be warned! 😉 ================ I have been busy non-stop since John left me. I’ve gotta say, “I’m freakin’ exhausted!” I spent the first few weeks crying and not sleeping enough. I’m doing much better these days, however; yet, my mind still finds time to think about the sad tragedy that became …
Jun 03 2009
I feel real today. I feel the blood running in my veins. I feel the organs inside my rib cage. I feel the sensations of my skin. I feel. I feel. For quite some time now, I’ve been numb. I’ve been avoiding feeling as much as possible, because every feeling was deeply painful. Not tonight… …
Jun 01 2009
I am on a quest for knowledge… to find out who I am and why I do the things I do (or don’t do the things I don’t do). I feel like Leela (Futurama) on a quest to find her own people… when she finally meets them, she goes through a bunch of emotion, and …