The Oscars were good this year, but left me feeling disappointed because it ended on an unpleasant note: No Country for Old Men won Best Picture! Ugh! I really don’t like that movie. I almost did, but the last 20 min ruined the entire movie for me and it was completely unredeemable after that. In fact, I never connected with the characters and didn’t really feel attached to the story. It was an overall lousy movie in my opinion. I wish Michael Clayton would have won, or There Will Be Blood (although I didn’t see it – I heard it was excellent).

I am happy Juno won best Screenplay! I am also happy Sweeney Todd won for best Art Direction! 🙂 It was a nice night overall, but No Country? Really? Bah!

Since dropping John off at the airport yesterday, I haven’t had much to do but spend time with the kitties (which I love); however, when Lyse invited me to join her in a pre-Oscars movie viewing extravaganza, I jumped on it. Lyse, David, Mac & I met at the Arclight to see Atonement at 7pm. We barely made it, as always, but we got seats all together. I love the Arclight. I wish it wasn’t so expensive.

Anyhow, Atonement was beautiful and depressing. I liked it, but I didn’t love it. There was an abrupt cinematic and time change that really threw me off, but it didn’t ruin the movie for me. It’s not one I need to see again, but I am glad I saw it. Mac hated it and wanted his 2 hours back, Elysia loved it. I don’t really know what David thought of it. I’ll have to ask him tonight.

Right after Atonement, Mac, Lyse & I headed down to the Laemele Sunset 5 to see The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, where we met up with Peter and his friend. This movie seemed to drag on for hours and hours! At one point, I thought it must have been after 1am, but it was only 11:15pm. It was a very good movie, but very slow. I would NOT see this one again. It was beautifully done, the acting was very natural too. It was a true story, and the movie portrayed everything very well. I just found myself a bit restless at times and waiting for it to wrap up. It was a very depressing movie overall, though beautiful and well done. Mac actually liked this one. Lyse & Peter did as well. Mac & I were in desperate need for a comedy after 4 hours of slow depressing story line. He had to work at 11am and I was tired, so we decided against another movie or video game session.

Today, Lyse & I are going to go see Michael Clayton. She’s at the Arclight watching Juno right now. I am watching Away From Her while I am typing and relaxing with the kitties. It’s good so far, but also depressing. Seriously, to win an Oscar, do you have to write a depressing movie?! This is just insane! I know these are great stories and very emotional, but I sincerely hope Juno wins some awards over these depressing movies. Juno was fun, uplifting and an excellent movie all around. It wasn’t jaw dropping, deeply memorable, or completely unique; but, it was great… just great!

I didn’t get to see There Will Be Blood, but I heard that was also somewhat sad. Bah! Anyhow, I guess we’ll see what happens tonight!

So, after missing a few days of work while having the flu last week and a few days the week before for food poisoning, I had to miss 2 days this week for gastritis!!! Basically, this is the beginning of an ulcer; and, if I don’t take care of it and de-stress, it will be an ulcer in no time! What’s funny and sad is that the stress is caused from work and from worry about missing work! How ironic!

I was told I can’t miss any more work because I’ve gone over my PTO (Paid Time Off) and so what happens? I stress about it, and get sick enough to miss more work! Thankfully, I have a doctor’s note, so I can’t be fired. Sadly, I have to return to work on Monday (and I am sure that the anxiety of having lots of work to make up for and a pissy boss to deal with will indeed affect my health). I sure hope I can keep calm enough to stay healthy though… this nausea and pain really sucks!

So, what else could go wrong? Well, Aurora tried squatting outside of her litter box (I caught her in time). I’m almost out of fluids and I can’t take off work early to pick up more fluids on Monday. This is not good!

Another sad piece in time is that John’s grandmother has passed on to the next world… the world we all come from and go back to one day. She was finally ready to go, but it’s never easy to say good-bye to someone you love. I wish I could be with him and his family; but, I have to take care of the kitties and go to work. John left on a plane today to be with his family for the wake and the funeral. He will be home on Wednesday night, our 1.5yr anniv. These days will go by quickly, but they will be imprinted on him for the rest of his life. Family does that. It’s beautiful and haunting at the same time.

So, I sit here with Aurora, watching the Spirit Awards and relaxing. I may see a movie tonight with Lyse. She wants to try to see a few Oscar nominees before 5pm tomorrow. I will be okay if I just see one more. I have already seen Old Country (ugh, hated it), Juno (loved it), Sweeney Todd (loved it) and Into the Wild (loved it). It would be good to see a few more, but there’s not a lot of time and I’m not worried about it. I’ll still enjoy the awards show with friends over at Lyse’s.

Ok, that’s enough for now…

I’m home sick with the flu, my body aches, my head hurts, my sinuses are stuffed, AND I started my period today!!!! This really sucks!

On a very wonderful note, John is taking great care of me! He’s amazing, so loving and makes me so happy! I love him so much!!!!

On another happy note, we are picking Aurora up from the vet today to come home! Yay!!!

So, I guess it’s not a bad day, but I wish I felt better! The cold and flu meds don’t seem to be working at all. 🙁

Every year, I seem to get one severe cold. I can usually fight it pretty quickly; and, I hope this year is no different. I am home with the flu. My face aches – sinuses, throat and temples. I have body aches too. I’ll be taking NiQuil in 30 min and going to sleep early tonight, and I don’t think I’ll be going to work for the rest of this week. Personally, I’d rather be healthy and working than home and sick. This sucks!

John is on the mend, he’ll probably be totally back to health by tomorrow. Yay! He’s been taking great care of me!!! Yay, I love my John!

Hi everyone! So, I think I’m getting the flu, but I’m fighting it as best as possible. I took meds, and I am at work today… suffering through the sickness.

On a more positive note, we got confirmation for our hotel for Comic-Con for July 24th through 27th! Emma, John & I are sharing a room at the Omni. If any of you plan on going, please let me know so that we can meet up at the Con! Also, I’ll be having a birthday dinner celebration down there one of the nights, either Friday or Saturday; so, it would be awesome if any of you wanted to join me!!!

Ok, back to work for me…

Dagan is home from the vet, and he is doing so much better! He will be on sub-q fluids for the rest of his life, but he will be happy and loved every day!

Aurora is at the vet now, getting her 4-Day IV fluid flush. It was so sad to see her with a lamp-shade thingy around her head. She needed it though… as she was trying to bite out her IV and bandage. John will be able to visit her tomorrow when he picks up Dagan’s fluids and meds.

Anyhow, new photos are up. Enjoy!

Today, Dagan & Aurora were diagnosed with CRF (Chronic Renal Failure), aka Kidney Failure. They eat different food, have very different medical histories and kidney trouble is not contagious. How did this happen at the same time? What am I supposed to learn from this? It’s possible that I will lose both my children very close in time to one another. I may have weeks, months or years left with them… who knows. I will do everything it takes to make their time wonderful, comfortable and full of love! My heart is breaking. I can’t believe my babies have to suffer so.

Life is so fragile. You do your best to eat well so you don’t get sick, but no matter what… you will be faced with the possibilities of cancer (from your environment), of getting into an accident (we drive almost every day), or of getting killed maliciously. I read that two girls were walking home from an ice cream cafe in a nice neighborhood and someone drove by and shot them. Turns out, he had never seen them before in his life and didn’t know anything about them… he just shot them. One died instantly, the other is in critical condition.

Our skin is not made of metal. It can be sliced, cut, mutilated or punctured. Whatever gets in could infect us, spread bacteria throughout us, and could possibly kill us. Sometimes, we even ingest harmful things on purpose… we eat and drink things that are terrible for us. They deteriorate our bodies and weaken our ability to fight off harmful toxins. We are so fragile.

Not only do we have to take good care of ourselves, but those of us who are mothers (whether we’ve adopted or raised our own kids) have to care for the lives of others. My kids are adopted, and I am solely responsible for their health and safety. It kills me to think that maybe I didn’t do something right. I have been told I’ve done an amazing job, but when your kids are sick and dying, you can’t help but blame yourself for possibly missing something or making a bad decision at some point in the past. I can’t think of what I could have done wrong, but maybe I didn’t notice the signs early enough. Maybe I should have read more and learned more about aging kitties and kitty diseases. Maybe I would have seen more of the signs earlier. I know I can’t dwell on this, but it still crosses my mind and upsets me.

I then think of how difficult it is to be a good mother. I think of how scary it must be for a person raising a child inside them… I think it must be horrifying to know that every thing you put in your body will affect your baby. Everything you’ve done in the months before you were pregnant could also affect your baby. If you are overweight, everything you’ve done to your health can affect your baby. Wow, motherhood is frightening. I am totally amazed at my friends’ abilities to raise children of their own. I admire them. I could never do that… I am falling apart over kids I didn’t create or give birth to. Maybe I’m not that strong after all…

I am scared. I have never been one to live in fear, but I am truly scared. Today, I find myself thinking about my own organs and keeping them healthy. I find myself afraid to drive over the speed limit, afraid to go outside into the cold air. I find myself just wanting to crawl into bed with John and the kitties. Sadly, Dagan’s at the vet’s office and John’s working on a script with our friends. I do have Aurora and Sandy home with me, but neither of them feels like sitting with me right now. They are doing their own thing, as cats often do. I did get to spend some quality time with Aurora earlier. Megan came over and we watched Chocolat! Aurora sat with us through most of the movie! I love her so much! I love all our kitties so much. I love John, my sister, my dad, my friends and family! I am afraid to lose a loved one again… how much pain can our hearts take in one lifetime? We are so fragile, yet.. we go on. It’s amazing.

I am getting tired, but decided to recap some recent thoughts and events…

This past weekend was the party at the Polk Street Palace (my friends’ house in Sylmar). It was so much fun! I was in the hot tub for hours, and it was freezing out too! Lots of great conversations and relaxation to be had! It was a small party, less than 15 people – very nice! John & I left around 4am or so, as we wanted to sleep in our own bed and I was totally sober since midnight.

On Sunday, Josef, John & I went down to the Mann’s 4 to see Cloverfield. It was great! I would like to own it… amazing idea for a movie and it worked so well! At night, John & I watched Superbad. It was hilarious! I didn’t think it was too much, but I’m glad I was warned that it was raunchy.

Yesterday, I ate some bad yogurt and ended up nauseous and vomiting for a few hours. I was still ill this morning, but had to go into work. I rested for a few hours, voted (for Obama) and then went into work at 1:30pm. It was a rough day to get through as I was so tired, but I made it. With that, I decided not to go to Trivia tonight and stay home with the kitties instead. We watched the Aristocats (came out today on Disney DVD). It’s almost 1am, and John should be home soon from Trivia. I am hungry, but I can’t have any dairy for another day… so, a vegan-life for me. This isn’t easy! I LOVE dairy – cheese especially!

On the cat front, Dagan & Aurora both have kidney trouble. Dagan may have diabetes too, but we won’t know more until tomorrow night. They both went in for bloodwork today. Aurora’s hasn’t been active lately and Dagan doesn’t eat enough, so I made appts for them today. I feed them prescription food and my vet said I’m one of the best cat-parents he knows, but it’s not enough to prevent kidney trouble… it’s just common in cats. I am so sad. I don’t want them to get worse. They are my kids, my loves. I want them to be healthy and happy for a really long time!

In other news, the California primaries are not over, yet websites and news channels are calling Clinton the winner for the Dems. I am not sure why they are calling it, when only 53% of the precincts are in. Do they know something I don’t? Have all delegates decided so early? If so, what does that say about democracy? I won’t be upset if Clinton wins, as she’s a good candidate, but I feel that it’s way too early to know for sure! I am confused. Still, I am hoping for an Obama/Edwards ticket for the Dems! Go O!

Alright, bedtime for me. Does anybody read this thing?

A friend of mine, who works at a horticultural center in South Florida, sent this email to me today:

“I wanted to pass along a conversation we had in the lunchroom last week. As we all know the USDA has a certified organic program, during our lunch-break we were having a conversation about organic foods. While the conversation was happening the person that is the Tropical Fruit Curator for Fairchild Garden, whom also happens to be well known internationally for his expertise in growing Tropical Fruits, particularly the Mango, walked into the break-room. He was asked by one of our senior scientists what he thought about the USDA’s program. He replied that he was recently at a meeting and a representative from the USDA gave a talk about the expansion of the program to include more chemicals. The USDA person gave a power point presentation and included a slide which depicted a picture of a pickup truck, the bed of the truck was filled with chemicals that the USDA permits, and if used, the (USDA) will still grant them (farmers) the “Seal of Approval”. He remarked that there were chemicals in that truck that he has never used, and others that he would never consider using on his fruit trees. He basically said that on the national level, organic is just a word, with no real meaning…..

What I’ve concluded is (if you can): buy local, from farms with small organic operations, one’s that you can visit and see what’s really going on….”

=======================

Wow, I thought organics were expensive, but worth the price due to the lack of pesticide and quicker shipping to keep the produce fresh! I am sad to hear this. ~ Arie

Weather
I hate this weather. I hate the summer too. I don’t know where on this earth has weather I like. I prefer dry climates with 72-75 degree weather. Is there such a place with this type of weather all year long?

For now, it’s not raining; but, more rain is on it’s way. I know we need rain, but freezing rain hurts California’s crops and makes me depressed. So… not good!

Politics
I’m still having trouble understanding the truth behind California Props 94 – 97. I wish I could talk to some local, small tribe members and hear what they have to say about this. I am also curious what knowledgeable teachers and other educators have to say about this. The write-ups and commercials are very contradictory.

World Hunger
I’m happy to hear that Bill Gates will be working on projects to help poorer countries create food supplies. Personally, I think he could single-handedly feed an entire starving nation for many years to come… but what he’s doing will be better – longer-lived. Producing working farms (they better be humane) will help teach people to cultivate land and grow produce that will feed their communities. I really hope this works! Read about it here.

Environment
We’re boned! No matter what we do as a human race, we create a bigger mess to clean up for our future generations. This is one of the reasons I do not want kids. I don’t want to subject them to the damage that people of my generation (and those before me) are doing to this beautiful planet! As we move into a new age of research and technology, we are seeking to replace fossil fuels with more eco-friendly alternatives. Sadly, damage done is not so easily undone. Apparently, bio-fuels may now be a major contributer to to water shortages and economic hardship in 3rd world countries. Read about it here.

Health
We’re so quick to turn to drugs! I hate being a member of a medicated nation. I understand that some meds are necessary and helpful, but people in the US are so quick to jump to meds for a quick solution to all their problems! Take cholesterol for instance. I haven’t gone a day in over a year or more where I didn’t see an ad for a drug that lowers your cholesterol! Really? This is pretty damn sick! Yes, some people have high cholesterol; and, although there are parts of your cholesterol you may have no control over (heredity), you can be very healthy without drugs! It’s called eating right and exercising! Too many people gain weight and endure health issues all because they have no will power to stop eating garbage! They quickly turn to drugs to solve all their problems. The truth is, these drugs all have side effects and are foreign substances to your body! Again, I know some medications are vital to people who are far past the point of reason; but, eventually, they should be able to get off them and learn to live better with a healthier diet and an increase in physical activity. Here’s some info on cholesterol for you to read: Click Here

Awareness
Very few people are aware of what they do, say and eat! I commend the state of NY for their bold, new initiative! They are making it mandatory for fast food restaurants to post calories on their menus. I hope this trend spreads like wildfire to California! I hope that, one day, it won’t only be fast food, but all eating establishments! Yes, I know this can cause problems when it comes to the economy. People who are aware of what they are eating may decide to eat less, and these people may decide not to spend money on bigger portions and fattier foods. I don’t believe the potential strain on the food economy will be nearly as bad as what will happen to people if they stay blind and dumb! What you don’t know could actually KILL you! Read more about NY’s plan here: Click Me

Well, that’s all I have to offer for today. I am going to drink more water and have a snack. Have a great weekend!