Okay, I LOVED Avatar and I thought the Hurt Locker was just ok. Here are some observations from my point of view.
Avatar
Loved the story. I don’t care that its been told before. It needs to be told again and again over the course of generations in a way that appeals to younger minds. It’s a beautiful story of nature, life, love, hope, truth, and belief. It shows how beautiful tribal life can be, but also how difficult. It shows how in tune with nature the creatures of a planet can actually be. They can live in true harmony and not destroy everything. The message is simple and well known, but it was shown in such an artistic and beautiful way.
I thought the characters were interesting, the dialogue was just fine, and the acting was solid. I am not overly critical in areas like this. I’m more story focused. I don’t have anything negative to say about the movie. I didn’t think it was too long or “too” anything actually. I thought it was perfectly done, and I enjoyed it so much that I went out and told everyone to see it!
Hurt Locker
Great acting, great characters, intense emotion and mood. It was not visually as stimulating as Avatar to me, but it was interesting to watch. I felt it was slow at times, and I didn’t like the message behind the lead character: his wife and son weren’t as thrilling to him as diffusing bombs. I know he did it to save lives, and he needed no reward; but, I didn’t like his disobedience (doesn’t seem realistic for someone in the military).
I enjoyed the relationships between the characters and the portrayal of how rough things are out there in Iraq for our military men and women. It was intense, and I really felt it while watching it. It was not a particularly interesting story in a worldly sense. It was a glimpse of a troop, of a job, of a time. It wasn’t too thought provoking to me. I did FEEL a lot as it was hard to see the loss of life, tears, sadness, mental anguish, fear and bravery the characters showed us. It was done really well in that way.
Still, when the movie was over, I was just ‘bleh’ and somewhat sad. I wasn’t touched deeply enough to share any words with anyone about the movie, though. I wasn’t moved to tears. If the lead character loved his son and wife and missed them and wanted to do everything he could to be with them, I would have liked it better I think. But, his lack of love for his family made me lose all possible connection with him; and, when I don’t relate to a character, I feel like the film hasn’t reached inside me.
So, after seeing the Hurt Locker, I can see why it was nominated for awards. It was done well and it was intense, but it just wasn’t the movie I raved about to others. It wasn’t the movie that would change the lives of children and adults alike to be better people and consider the affect we have on others and this planet. It wasn’t a movie that I want to see again.
With that said, I think Avatar should have won best picture. I’m not the only one who thought so… millions of people went to see Avatar, and many of them saw it again and again. I think that shows how great that movie really was! I feel the only reason it didn’t win was because it was somewhat sci-fi and because it was mostly CG. So what, the actors still had to act and feel and portray characters. The actors had to work with a scene they couldn’t actually see and characters they couldn’t physically touch… that’s really tough. For that, they deserve awards!
Okay, I’m done yapping… but those are my thoughts. So, why did you all like the Hurt Locker or Avatar. What about those two movies made you think, feel, and share with others?
Tags: avatar, hurt locker, movies
So, Alice in Wonderland is top of the box office this weekend… YAY!!!!
Ok, on to the recap:
Mon, 3/1 – Still a bit sick, but was on my way to recovery. Worked a long day, then made chocolate chip cookies! Kyle came over & brought me a beautiful bouquet of spring flowers! Then, we joined John & Sandy Leonetti in watching “That Thing You Do.” I really liked it! Kyle passed out shortly after, and I had a serious hit of insomnia that lasted a few hours. I also had bad dreams. 
Tues, 3/2 – Had a slow start to the day, then worked for most of the afternoon. After work, John Reha came over with Penemue. We celebrated Sandy’s birthday with her around this awesome hamburger cake that John L bought for her! John L headed to trivia early. I drove Sandy. We didn’t have a win, but it was a fun night regardless! Everyone loved my cookies, and that always makes me happy! After trivia, John Reha back to my place, and he and Penemue crashed on the couch. I had another, more harsh, dose of insomnia that night. I was up til almost 5am.
Wed, 3/3 – Woke up before 8am to take Reha to the Burbank airport for his flight to NY. Penemue would be staying with me for the week. I then returned home, rested some more (as I felt seriously ill), then started working. I was told that my company would be shelved for the future, and that my last day would be March 26th. With that news, I spent a few minutes in sad thought, then returned to working, as I had a lot to do to help finish up current orders. In the evening, John & I watched Precious, then Sleeping Beauty (to help us cheer up after Precious). I then talked to Violet til after 2am. I love Violet!
Thurs, 3/4 – Worked, watched A Serious Man (aka. A Serious Waste of Time) then hung out with Megan at her new place. We put Garden State on in the background and talked for a few hours. She’s so amazing to talk to. She really gets me, and I feel like I have a true friend in her! She’s incredible! I am so thankful for the wonderful people in my life! After leaving her place, I walked over to Kyle’s (which is less than a block from her place), and I hung out with him, Chris, Aaron, KC, Jessie, Branden, and two of the guys from Ten Years. It was a super fun night!
Fri, 3/5 – Slept in, had breakfast with Kyle, Chris, KC, Jessie & Branden, then relaxed at the apartment for a bit before heading home. John & I watched The Princess & the Frog (amazing), then headed over to the Towers, where I played Taboo with Scharff, Dorwart, Emmett, Josef & John. Greg went to bed early, but was around most of the evening. After the party, John & I went over to Kyle’s and watched most of Zombieland with Kyle & Chris. We headed home after, and I stayed up pretty late again (against my will).
Sat, 3/6 – Woke up pretty sick (headache, sore throat, bleh). I went back to sleep and didn’t get up again til 2:30pm… wow! I then burned two pop tarts, one after another, then freaked out and pulled apart the kitchen. I helped clean the apartment, but wasn’t as helpful as I wish I could have been. I was a mess. I finally calmed down and John & I watched Invictus. Great movie!
After Invictus, I drove into Hollywood to meet up with Violet & Jason. We found parking on Sunset (as Hollywood Blvd was closed for the Oscars), and we walked to Hollywood & Highland (Koji’s) for edamame and a few drinks. Kyle & I got to spend a little bit of time together too, which is always a plus! Violet, Jason & I then met up with Ryan, Heather, Ricki, Erik & Ginger at El Capitan to see Alice in Wonderland. I won’t say much other than, if you like Alice (movies, books, etc.), go see it! It exceeded my expectations, and I really enjoyed the adventure!
After the movie, I took pix of the props around El Capitan, then Violet, Jason & I walked back to Sunset. H & H was on lock-down for the Oscars, so we were behind some really tall fences as we walked back to the car. Once home, I was still wired, so I played Bubble Burst on my phone.
Sun, 3/7 – Woke up to John telling me that my photo assistant, Ivy, was here. Holy hell, what happened to my alarm!?! I got showered and dressed really fast, and we headed out to meet up with Kelcey and Andy to shoot their engagement photos. Carole came along (she was a great make-up assistant)! We had an awesome shoot, then Ivy & I came back to Glendale.
Once back, John, Sandy & I started setting things out for the Oscar party. It was a super awesome time with friends – John, Sandy, Elysia, KC, Josef, Violet, Bobby, Ricki, Erik, Gavin, Heather, Mike, Brooke, Cristian, Josh, Heather, Victor, Victor’s boyfriend (name escapes me – I’m sorry, Victor), Ben, Greg, & Joanne! I am very sad that Avatar didn’t win Best Picture, as I truly thought it’s box office results were proof enough that it truly was the best picture of the year. The Hurt Locker was good, but it didn’t amaze me. It didn’t thrill me. It made me think and feel, but not for long. It was done very well, and it had great acting; but, best picture? Hmmm. I don’t feel it.
For me, Avatar was a classic story of preserving nature & life, done in a beautifully visual way. It was acted well, interesting from start to finish, and it truly moved me to feel, think, hope, and smile! I think it should have won. Oh well.
On a positive, I am so happy Sandra Bullock won. She is beautiful, brilliant, funny, and such a great actress!
After the party, I helped Lyse with her computer for a bit before she, KC, and Josef left. Thanks everyone for coming tonight, and for Sandy for doing the majority of the clean-up! The cats are finally all out and exploring the living room again, and things seem to be calming down for me too. I’ll be editing pix for a bit, then off to bed. I have a busy week of work ahead, and I’m not feeling too (throat again… boo!).
Night!
Tags: 2010, academy awards, alice in wonderland, el capitan, hollywood, oscars, taboo, ten years, the changing, towers
Saw Crazy Heart tonight with Violet, Jason, Mike D, and Mike S. It was really good, but not really “best picture” worthy in my opinion. I did enjoy it though. It’s scary to think that people actually live like this – musicians, aging, touring, free booze, drinking more than living, falling so far down they fuck up everything important to them… I am so glad that’s not the life of anyone I know. It’s crazy that it’s a true story for so many musicians.
Anyhow, though long… it was worth watching! 
The music was great too, and I don’t even like country music!
Tomorrow – Fantastic Mr. Fox! I can’t wait! This movie looks like so much fun!
Tags: crazy heart, movie review
This weekend was truly incredible!
Thursday - Kyle & I drove out to Palm Springs, CA for a weekend getaway! Once we got there, we checked into our room and got upgraded to a fancy room with a hot tub in it (at no extra charge)!
We then drove down to the Downtown area to find dinner… there was a super huge farmer’s market / street faire going on! We got girl-scout cookies, trail mix, and dinner at a great Thai place (Pepper Thai). Apparently, this street faire is every Thursday! We had a lot of fun walking up and down, seeing all the booths.
Later that night, we enjoyed some super sexy time in our awesome hot tub, then watched some TV before falling asleep…
Friday - Woke up early to head up to San Jacinto on the Aerial Tramway. It was seriously impressive! We brought our sled and played in the snow for a few hours. Before leaving, we had some coffee and bought each other post cards in the gift shop.
Once back on the desert floor, we drove to Palm Desert to wander around for a few hours. Then, back at our hotel, got a shower and headed to dinner for a fancy, romantic feast at L’Olivio. I had delicious eggplant parm and we split a tiramisu for dessert. After, we walked back to our hotel, had some super awesome fun together, then went bowling. I got 100 on my first game! Kyle got 119! We had such a fun time!
Before bed, we enjoyed another soak in the hot tub, then watched Inglorious Bastards. It was very good. It took awhile to sink in, but I liked it overall. The acting was great, the story was interesting, but Hans wasn’t too believable near the end. Oh well. It was still enjoyable. Glad I saw it.
Saturday - Woke up early, checked out and met up with Kyle’s parents to go on the Maynard Mine Trail hike. It was a 6.5 mile hike, and we did 4 miles of it or so. It’s considered a strenuous hike as it rises about 2200 feet in elevation. The view from the top is amazing! You can see sooooo far! On one side, snowy mountains, on the other side, the desert valley and other mountains. Truly breathtaking!
After the hike, we all had lunch at the Rock Garden Cafe, then drove home to LA. Once home, we went over to Elysia & KC’s to hang out with them and some friends.
Today (Sunday) – Woke up early and went with Lyse, Anne & Nick to a bridal show in Calabasas. It was super fancy, out-doors, and not very large. We still had a great time there and met a few amazing vendors. Once home, I passed out for a few hours, then John came over with Penemue. We let him roam around the apartment while we watched An Education and ate Hungry Howie’s pizza. An Education was excellent! I see why it was nominated for an Oscar! It was truly thought-provoking, kept you interested, and played out very nicely. I really loved it! I highly recommend it!
During the movie, Gracie took to hissing at Penemue every chance she got. She didn’t calm down til about 1 hr after they left! She’s sleeping now. I just watched Deep Impact, uploaded pix from Palm Springs, and am now heading to bed. I have a busy day at work tomorrow! Night all.
What a terrific, awesome weekend!!!
Tags: 7 springs resort, an education, bridal show, hiking, hungry howies, inglorious bastards, l'olivio, maynard mine, palm springs, palm springs aerial tramway, pepper thai, rock garden cafe
So, I wanted to watch Julie and Juila, but instead, I watched 17 Again. It was super cute! I really enjoyed it. It’s not profound, but exactly as expected… still, fun and enjoyable!
I really should be watching my remaining Oscar films not yet seen. Eeek… so many!
In the next 18 days, I want to see (* means priority):
The Blind Side*
An Education (Plans to see this on Sunday, 2/21)*
The Hurt Locker*
Inglorious Bastards*
Precious*
Crazy Heart
A Serious Man*
A Single Man
Invictus
The Lovely Bones
Julie and Julia
Nine
Fantastic Mr. Fox*
The Princess & the Frog*
Sherlock Homes
The Young Victoria
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Coco Before Chanel
In the Loop
That’s 19 films in 18 days. Can I do it? Probably not. I think I can probably hit 10 of them. Hmmm, anyone want to watch some movies every night next week?!
Ingredients
1 Slab – Garlic / Herb Pizza Dough from Trader Joe’s (Fridge Section – in a bag)
1 Head – Broccoli, diced
1 Whole – Roma Tomato, diced
1/3 Bag – Prewashed, Ready-to-Eat Spinach
1/3 Whole – Eggplant, diced
4 Whole – Small White Potatoes, peeled and diced
2 Cups – Crimini Mushrooms, sliced
2/3 Cup – Goat Cheese (Soft)
1 Cereal Bowl – Mozzarella Cheese, shredded
1 Cup – Vodka Sauce
1 Clove – Fresh Garlic, minced
1 Tbsp – Cayenne Pepper
2 Tbsp – Oregano
Some – Olive Oil
Steps
1. Preheat Oven to 400 degrees
2. Open bag of dough, set out to air for 20 min (spread it out a little too)
3. Chop up veggies and garlic, microwave potatoes til warm (3 to 5 min max)
4. Put 2/3 of your broccoli, all spinach, all mushrooms, all eggplant, 1/2 your garlic, and some olive oil into a pan and sautee and stir on med-high heat for a bit (5 min or so), cover and lower heat to med-low
5. Toss or roll dough out to fit your pizza dish
6. Place dough on pizza dish and make the edges thicker by pulling dough out with your fingers
7. Bake for 8 minutes
8. Go make out with your loved one, pee, wash your hands, get some wine, whatever
9. Pull out pizza dough and let sit for 5 minutes
10. Add the rest of the broccoli and all potatoes to the sautee, mix and cover
11. Finish your wine, make out some more
12. Spread Goat Cheese with the back of a spoon all over your dough… evenly if possible, as thick as you want it.
13. Pour on Vodka Sauce, spread out evenly
14. Spread tomato chunks out over pizza, evenly
15. Empty sautee mixture onto pizza, spread evenly
16. Spread Mozz cheese over everything, evenly
17. Sprinkle remaining garlic over cheese, evenly
18. Sprinkle cayenne pepper over pizza, evenly
19. Shake some oregano (to your liking) over pizza
20. Turn oven up to 400 and bake until cheese and crust start to lightly brown, keep watching it like a hawk (varies by oven)
21. Once lightly brown, turn oven to Broil and watch as cheese and crust browns even more! Take out when it looks awesome
22. Cool for 10 to 15 minutes… while watching a rerun of the Simpsons and having another glass of wine
23. Devour pizza with a huge smile!
Tags: broccoli, eggplant, garlic, goat cheese, homemade pizza, mozzarella, mushrooms, oregano, pizza, potatoes, tomato, vodka sauce, wine
Ingredients
2 Cans – Crushed Pineapple (it 100% juice)
1 Can (Lrg) – Manderine Oranges (or 2 small cans)
1 Can – Very Cherry Mixed Fruit
1 or 2 Can(s) – Sliced Pears (in 100% juice)
1 Can (Lrg) – Tropical Fruit (with mango, guava, etc.)
2 Fresh – Apples (Green, Red, Both, whatever)
Lots of – Grapes (Purple, Red, Green, whatever)
2 Fresh – Kiwi (optional)
1 Pkg – Pistachio Pudding Mix (Instant) – Jello
1/2 Tub – Cool Whip (from the freezer section, the normal sized one) – Defrosted before use
Mixing
1. Strain Crushed Pineapple (you can keep or toss the juice – for your own purposes)
2. Put Crushed Pineapple into a large bowl, mix in Pistachio Pudding
3. Strain the rest of the cans, toss them into the bowl and mix well
4. Dice up apples and kiwi, toss those in
5. Cut grapes in 1/2, toss them in, mix everything well
6. Mix in the cool whip, very well
7. Chill for a few hours (or overnight). Serve cold!
Tags: ambrosia, fruit, manderine oranges, pear, pineapple, recipe, salad
Friday, Feb 12th
In the day, I photographed The Changing for a ‘zine. It was a super fun photo shoot! Later on was dinner and drinks with friends for Scharff’s birthday down in Marina Del Rey. Adrienne, Josef, Bobby, John L, & I drove down there together. I got a grilled cheese at the pub we were hanging at (Brennan’s). After, we went back to TMC for some drinks and to hang out. It was super fun!
After the party, I picked Kyle up and he crashed at my place.
Saturday, Feb 13th
Took Kyle home and then prepped for a few hours of wedding work. My lighting assistant, Ivy, & I drove down to Angel’s Point to meet up with Brooke & Steve. The location was sooo cool! It overlooks downtown LA and Dodger’s Stadium. The wedding was fun and intimate. We had a great time photographing it!
After, I went to The Americana at Brand to perform a quick I-Do ceremony for a happy Chinese couple before the Chinese New Year began.
For dinner, Sandy & I went to Koji’s to meet up with Reha, Violet, Jason, Dorwart, Scharff, Bobby, & Jenni. After dinner, Adrienne, Emmett, Jodi, Karla, Irene, and Josef joined in for drinks and karaoke. A few Koji’s regulars made an appearance. Kyle was roaming around between friends. It was such a great night and start to Valentine’s Day! I sang Toad’s Whatever I Fear, Faith No More’s Midlife Crisis, and Puddle of Mudd’s Blurry. Adrienne sang Tool’s Sober. I wish I recorded that. It was amazing!
After karaoke, I went back to Kyle’s place for the night.
Sunday, Feb 14th
Dropped Kyle off at the train station so he could go to work, then I went home and took a nap. At 3pm, I met up with Corey & Sara to do maternity photos at Travel Town. We had a great time!
At 6pm, I picked up Kyle from the train and we went food shopping for “make your own pizza” supplies. We got garlic / herb dough, fresh veggies (mushrooms, broccoli, tomatoes, potatoes, spinach, & eggplant), goat cheese, mozz cheese, and vodka sauce. We added some cayenne pepper and garlic to the mix, and the pizza was the best I ever had! We both were so proud of ourselves!
After dinner, we watched Up in the Air (amazing! totally deserves an Oscar), and then took a walk around Kyle’s neighborhood. We had some special time to ourselves when we got back, then watched S1, Ep1 & 2 of Arrested Development with Dominika and Branden. What a freakin’ awesome Valentine’s Day!
Tags: karaoke, koji's, photography, the changing, up in the air, valentine's day
I haven’t posted since Jan 20th! Wow!
I guess I’ve been busy!
I don’t remember the order, but from Jan 21st through the 28th, I know I worked, played video games, went to Disneyland, watched Greg & John play Castlevania, watched Paranormal Activity, played with the kitties, posted on Facebook, photographed an engagement shoot, played with the kitty cats, partied with Ryan, Josh & Jul for their birthdays, hung out with Kyle, watched stuff on the History channel, went bowling, celebrated my sister and KC’s engagement, and probably some other stuff. I know I had an early night’s sleep one night!
Jan 30th
Lola Felli had a very successful bridal show in Las Vegas on the weekend of the 30th! It was an exhausting weekend, but a great one. Laurel, Meghan & I drove out to Vegas on Thursday night, set up on Friday afternoon, manned our booth on Friday night, went out to Treasure Island to party for Meghan’s birthday til after 2am, worked the show on Saturday, then drove home!
When I got home, I went to Kyle’s to pick him up and bring him back to my place. On Sunday, I drove him to Hollywood to go to work. I then came home and napped!!!
Jan 31st
Later in the day, I picked up Adam, and we met up with Ricki & Erik at Disneyland! We started off with Tower of Terror, then made our way through some great rides at California Adventure. Adam & I split this awesome veggie chili sour-dough bread bowl for dinner. Yum!
Feb 1st
This was a rough day! I ate a rotten tangerine, and got acid reflux. I ran to the bathroom to throw up, and ended up smashing my head on the edge of the toilet lid and blacking out. I threw up when I came to, then rested, then threw up some more. It was a really rough day. At night, I still decided to go see Divine Era play to support my awesome boyfriend, my kick-ass friend Jay, and my new friend Dai. Erick came over and he, John & I went to pick up Crystal to go to the show. It was a freakin’ awesome show!
Feb 2nd
Slept in a bit, still felt pretty “off” and my head was hurting really bad. I worked for a bit from Kyle’s, then headed home to work some more. At night, I went to trivia. My headache was spreading to the back of my head… I was getting seriously worried.
Feb 3rd
Woke up early and called my doctor. I was able to get an appt for Thurs at lunch. I worked for a bit, then met up with a potential photography client (I hope they love me and want to book me)! After, I worked some more and rested up. When I woke from my nap, I worked some more, then hung out with some insomnia for a few hours.
Feb 4th
Had a Lola Felli client call at 8:45am, then passed out til it was time to go to my doctor’s appt. He said I probably had a concussion, but that I am recovering well. He sent me to the lab for blood work to check for an infection and to check on my cholesterol and stuff. Once home, I worked til 8:15pm.
Later that night, Sandy & I went to the Sprinbok for Adrienne’s karaoke birthday. It was so much fun! We had some food and sang some songs. I sang Snow Patrol’s Run, POUSA’s Kitty (with Jenni), and Alice Cooper’s Ballad of Dwight Fry. Besides Adrienne, Emmett, Scharff, Jenni, John, Josef, Bobby, Josh, Jul, John, Sandy, Miri, and Kyle were there!
Feb 5th
Woke up at 10am, got a shower and hung out with Kyle and Dominika for a bit before heading into the office. I had a very busy day at work, then picked up Dominika to go grocery shopping. I thought the store would be empty due to the rain… NOPE! Super Bowl Sunday shoppers started early. Oh well.
Once home, Megan and Josef came over and we watched Zombieland. It was hilarious and fun! I highly recommend it! Great characters and fun story! After, Megan & I played Tetris Party for a bit. We tried Field Climber, but kept trapping or killing the little man. Boo! We never got him to the top of the screen. Oh well, next time.
Tomorrow is Sara’s baby shower and Broomball! Yay!
Tags: bridal show, castlevania, engagement, facebook, las vegas, photography
I woke up kinda late today, a bit meh from the gray skies and rain. When I finally got up, I put a bagel in the toaster and put it on 2 minutes. I walked away to check on a few things, and came back to a burnt bagel. Boo! So, I decided to put another bagel into the toaster. I also opened some Dunkin Donuts cream cheese and set it by the toaster. I then walked to the dining room table to look through some of yesterday’s mail. I walked back into the kitchen a minute later, and saw my bagel in charcoal form… Boo! I opened the toaster oven and the door hit my cream cheese container, which then flipped onto the floor. This made me so angry and sad, that I almost went back to bed. Instead, I made a bowl of cereal and put on the news… rain rain rain.
I worked for a few hours today, and the rain was soooo loud and wearing on my nerves. I had the lights on, and it was still dark in here. Finally gave up and turned some lights off… it was like we never had day time.
After work, I decided to work on unlocking Rosalina for Mario Kart. First, I had to play through a save-game on Super Mario Galaxy. Holy hell! What crack-head created this game? I was getting so dizzy chasing rabbits and freeing stars! It was super fun, but I don’t think I could spend more than 20 min at a time on this one!
I then played through all 50cc games on Kart and unlocked Rosalina and a few other things. I didn’t come in 1st on all games, so I know I have to play through again. I am happy to have Rosalina now, but the truth is, I am pretty used to Toad on the Standard Kart now. Hmmm.
After Kart, I watched “Life Unexpected” on the CW. It was very CW, but I liked it. I then played more Kart, then watched “Worst Cooks in America” on the Food Network. I like this show, and have seen all the eps so far.
Now, Sandy & I are watching a car chase and the rain (weather) report on Fox – both at the same time. I wish I were a house cat… Dagan looks so peaceful right now sleeping on a couch pillow! Here I am thinking about mudslides, earthquakes, and traffic!
Tags: bagel, mario kart, rosalina
I am pretty damn tired right now… heading to bed in a few minutes.
This week was crazy.. very sad and very happy all at once. Haiti’s 7.0 earthquake was truly devastating. I remember getting the cellphone notification when that earthquake hit. I looked at my phone and said, “7.0.. uh oh!” and went online immediately to check out the news. Nothing! It took about 5 minutes before the stations were covering it. Truly a tragic event… I have no idea how they will recover.
Monday, I did go bowling this week after getting back from Phoenix, AZ for the Lola Felli bridal show. It was a fun night! Kyle was able to bowl a game after his shift, which hasn’t happened for a while. Kyle came back to my place after the game, and I took him home on the way to work the next day.
Tuesday started a very busy week in the office… we got a few orders and had to start planning order fulfillment. I think it’s going very well! A night, I went to Trivia. My team came in 2nd. I was proud of my 25pt final question: Who voiced Stimpy? It was an easy answer, yes… Billy West. Still, I was happy to have known an answer!
On Wednesday, I ran a few errands, then picked Kyle, Heath and Chris up to go hiking at Point Vicente. We played with hermit crabs and pet star fish. Mike Scharff met up with us down there. After that, we went to Brennan’s Irish Pub with everyone, as well as Violet, Jason, and Mike Dorwart. Great food!!!
Thursday, Zander and I focused on photography and order placement. After work, I went to Target, then spent the night depressed and wrote in my blog. I also edited photos and pet cats all night!
Friday, I went to work, then picked up Ben & Sandy, then headed to my sister’s for a vision board meeting. We all created vision boards, and it was really fun!
Saturday, slept in, then went into Hollywood to hang out with Jason. We walked around Hollywood Blvd, then had dinner at Koji’s with Scharff, Dorwart, Adam, and Sarah. After dinner, Emmett, Adrienne, Heather, Ryan, Ginger, Ricki, Erik, Josef, Mick, and others showed up to hang out. We sang lots of songs at karaoke and had some great drinks.
After karaoke, Kyle & I went back to his place and talked for a few hours. It was a much needed talk. We are doing great, and are very very happy together!
Sunday, took Kyle to the train station, then headed home to nap. Charter Cable came to install the DVR (which saves us $10 a month for some reason), and then I spend the day lounging about the living room.. I edited some photos, talked to friends online, and watched Young Guns II and the Golden Globes (why did Drew Barrymore have a sea urchin on her shoulder and hips?). At night, John came over and he, John L, Sandy & I tried out my new Christmas present (Zephyr Ion). Then, John, John L & I played Mario Kart, followed by John & I playing a bunch of levels of the new Super Mario Bros! It was awesome, and I really want it!
Tomorrow, going to see dad, then working in the afternoon. Bowling at night.
In the near future, I’m looking forward to the Oscars (and seeing all the movies beforehand), going to Vegas with Lola Felli, broomball, Ryan / Josh / Jul / Michael’s birthday party, an engagement shoot, my first valentine’s day with Kyle, a weekend away with Kyle in mid-late February, and wedding season starting up again this Spring!
Tags: boyfriend, depression, golden globes, vegas
Walking through Target tonight, the world started to collapse around me. I saw things, useless things… in every direction. Some things were pretty, and I thought I wanted them; but, after about 2 seconds of thought, I realized that I do not want want to add things to my already cluttered life. I have no room for these things. When I realized this, I began to see everything around me as a very alien plastic object of no value. I saw people all around me, buying these objects. I felt entirely disconnected from these people, these things, and the energy surrounding me.
The more I zig-zagged down the aisles, the more dead inside I felt. I collected apples, environmental shower cleaner, and kitty litter – all the while wishing I were not part of this existence. I felt like I was drowning in quicksand, but without the will to try to escape from it. As I looked around, I did see beautiful things, happy valentine’s cards, smiling people, laughing children, pet food with happy pets on the front… it was all pudding: sweet, wonderful, and sticky – sucking you in and trying to keep you in place.
The last few aisles were the worst. I was looking at frozen boxed food… food for one. I bought a Mama Celeste pizza for one. I didn’t feel lonely buying it, but I felt mocked by packaging design firm. I started to lose my desire for food as I crept slowly through these aisles. I wanted nothing… just to be rid of the necessity to even eat at all. A slight wave of depression started to set in. It quickly spired into an all out wish for sudden death. I kept feeling myself start to hyperventilate a little… I started repeating quietly, “I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine” over and over again, as I walked by people with a very nice smile on my face.
I pictured myself driving home, getting in a fatal accident, and my spirit hovering above my body, pointing down at me; and, with a Nelson Muntz taunt, gave me a “haha” before drifting away. My dying body laying there saying, “Wait! I wished for this and didn’t even get to leave a suicide note… not fair!” At this point, my spirit did leave my body out of pure boredom for this monotonous store. I later found it in the car, listening to Alice in Chains’ Jar of Flies (Nutshell, to be exact). I joined it and put the song on repeat for my entire drive home (from Vineland and Victory).
On my drive home, all I could think about was how useless I am to this world – not to my friends or cats or co-workers, but to the Universe as a whole. I felt so small, so insignificant. I kept hearing my friends’ voices saying, “you matter to me, and that makes you special” and crap like that. I didn’t want to hear any of it. I wanted to disappear… not into death where I would have to review my life and frolic into the afterlife, but into true oblivion, where my spirit would be no more.
I noticed myself smiling at people in cars as I sat at red lights beside them. I realized that I was actually laughing at the idea of all of this, thinking to myself, “Am I insane?!” Telling myself, “No no… that’s what you want to believe; but, really… you are normal.” Boo! Who wants to be normal?! I want to sing and cry and dance and scream and jump off cliffs and run through fields and fly like birds and sleep like cats and fuck like rabbits and smell like roses and glow like lightning and feel like fire and taste like sweet-tarts and look like a hologram of rainbows with squirrels running around me in figure eights.
By that time I got home, I had watery eyes and a severe depression taking over me. I felt no obligation should keep me here, and that life isn’t giving me any reason to feel passionate about it. I can’t just take off and travel to Japan and New Guinea. I can’t just sit on a beach drinking fancy cocktails for a month or two. I can’t travel around the US visiting art centers and learning new techniques so I could play with clay and fire and silver all day. I can’t just sleep in and pet my cats for 4 hours a day. I can’t eat at fancy vegan and raw foods restaurants every night. I can’t rent a small prop plane and fly around the Grand Canyon every month. I can’t buy a jet ski and go out for an hour every day. I can’t do any of these things… I have to work. I have to take care of things. I have to pay bills. I have to hover around the dollar fairy and beg for more, just so I can keep a roof over my head and food in my cats mouths!
Fuck money. I wouldn’t need it if I were dead. Still, I am NOT a selfish person. It takes a very selfish person to take oneself out. Me, I couldn’t do it. Those who love me and need me have a deep hold on me. They make me feel like I would hurt them if I left them, and I don’t want to hurt anyone… ever! I just have to stick around this place and make the best of it. I must say, I am pretty happy overall. I have a passionate sex life with a great boyfriend, amazing cats, fantastic roommates, incredible friends, a job I really enjoy, a clean and safe apartment / neighborhood, a talented and loving sister, a wonderful family, and much more. It baffles me that I am so bored with my life. It feels so plain and repetitive. I am usually so thankful for all that I have. Why do I often fall into this hole where nothing is enough – where I want more! It often takes hearing my cats purr to bring me back down to the humility of true appreciation.
As I write this, I am not upset, nor crying, nor sad even. I am just kinda blah. I feel very little, and don’t have the desire to feel much more for a few hours. I thought about going to sleep early, but that will just make tomorrow come sooner. Tomorrow will be no more exciting than today… so what’s the point in rushing it?! If I stay awake, I guess I could do something productive or fun. I don’t really feel like it though. I would prefer to just press pause for a while and pick up when the earth’s terrain has changed dramatically… that could be exciting! Hmmm, or devastating.
I’ve had enough trauma and pain for one person in one short life… why do I seek more?! Why do I yearn for something to hurt just to “feel” again? I usually love the idea of stability, but I realized that I like stability with growth and gradual progress. Stability that is stagnant… ugh! I am the walking dead. Hear me roar (with the sound of a horn no stronger than my Prius)!
Blah blah blah…
I have had way too much fun, but have not had enough quality time with my kitties, roommies, friends, or Kyle. Let’s see…
I got back on the 30th, and Kyle picked me up from the Fly Away. Sadly, with my late flight, we didn’t get to hang out til much later as he had band practice.
31st – Partied at Koji’s with great people! Had lots of drinks, shots, and laughs! I took tons of photos, which I will post very soon… After Koji’s closed, I went with Josef, Karla & Irene to Mel’s for grub. Still drunk, I wandered back to Koji’s to deliver bagels to drunk friends, then Kyle & I took the Red Line back to the valley and went to his house. We were both trashed, but still had an awesome night!
1st – Slept in, went to see Avatar 3D, then had dinner with Bobby and friends for Bobby’s birthday!
2nd – Slept in, played around online, went out to dinner with Corey, Sara & Sara’s sister (Gianna) at Porto’s, went to Koji’s for karaoke, and hung out with Kyle after.
3rd – Napped, edited photos, napped some more, posted photos, and chilled at home.
4th – Worked (prepped for tradeshow), chilled at home, went to my sister’s improv show with my friend Ben (who tried his first Pinkberry), then hung out with Kyle for a bit.
5th – Worked, then went to Bar Trivia (which was super fun).
6th – Worked, did laundry, played on FB, saw a raccoon outside my apartment, and worked some more (til 3am)
7th – Finished packing, then got breakfast and headed to Phoenix with Laurel & Meghan. We stopped in Cabazon and some silly little coffee rest stop in Chiriaco Summit on the way. We settled into the awesome Scottsdale Cottonwood Resort for the night.
8th – Set up the booth at the PHX Conv Ctr for the Bridal Fashion Debut. I ran around picking up tables, getting copies made, and getting us food. It was a tiring, but good day! Picked Zander up at the Mesa airport at midnight, and passed out instantly when I got back to the Hampton Inn in Phx.
9th – Dropped Zander, Meghan, and Laurel off at the Convention, and went back to the hotel to wait for a package of color swatches to arrive. I eventually gave up when Zander called to tell me it was seriously crowded and needed my help. We made two sales and got lots of inquiries. Overall it was a great day!
At night, went to the Nordstrom Rack’s Last Chance, then got some Thai food (yum)
10th – Had another great day at the Convention – lots of inquiries and great compliments (on our products AND my personality)! Haha! After the show, we loaded the car, and rested up in the room. We watched “He’s Just Not That Into You,” which was total crap and unrealistic! Then, we got some pizza. Now, watching some crap on VH1, but it’s entertaining in a deer-in-the-headlights sort of way.
Tomorrow, heading home!!!! I can’t wait to see my kitties! I probably won’t get to see Kyle til Tuesday though. Boo! Anyhow, happy to be heading home soon!
Tags: airport, bridal show, convention, facebook, new years eve, phoenix
Violet & I had an amazing time in FL! Here’s SOME of what we did / saw:
12/23 – Lester’s Diner with Emily, nap, lunch with Leilani at Romeu’s, hang out at Town Hall with Em, nap, dinner with family, dessert and drinks with Em & James
12/24 – Hollywood Beach with Leilani, Christmas party with the Duarte’s / DeRosa’s, Riverfront & Fat Cats with Joe and James
12/25 – Slept in, Christmas dinner with True / Potens families, karaoke with DeRosa’s, hung out with Keith & Joe after
12/26 – Slept a bit, headed down to South Beach for the afternoon, had dinner with Jen, Courtney & Jay, saw Paul, met up with Leilani, James, Ryan M, Ryan S (and friends), Jimmy, Froggie, Diane, Azi, Dan, Meredith, Jen, Lizzy, & others at Fat Cats. After, headed to Ryan & Lizzy’s for a bit.
12/27 – Slept a little, met Grandma at Lester’s for lunchfast, met up with Joe at Everglades Holiday Park for an airboat ride, picked up Leilani & Ben, drove to Melbourne, FL, hung out with Nikki, Jason & the kids
12/28 – Islands of Adventure with Leilani, Ben, & Grace. Sooooooo much fun! We drove home afterward.
12/29 – Slept in, returned the rental car, had dinner at the Beverly Hills Cafe with Ryan S, Bach family, Liz & the girls, and Jen & Courtney; went to Stage 84 to see Leilani’s dad (Robert) perform, then hung out at the billiard hall nearby with Lei, Jen, Liz, Ryan S, & Ryan M. It was very sad to say good-bye, but we couldn’t stay out all night. Well, I could…. haha! After leaving, Ryan took us to Dunkin Donuts to pick up breakfast for the morning
12/30 – Ryan dropped us off at FLL (airport) super early. Violet made her flight, but I missed mine. Delta got me on a 10:10am flight though, which wasn’t too bad. Sadly, it cut into my evening with Kyle though
Happy to be home with the kitties and my sexy man! I did have a great time!
Tags: airport, everglades, fat cats, florida, fort lauderdale, islands of adventure, south beach
At the end of every year, many people talk about how we hope the next year will be better than the last one. Well, this year, more people than ever are singing that same song. I’ve never seen so many people united in hopes for a better year ahead.
Here are some of my general hopes and commitments for 2010:
1. Eat less dairy & junk food
2. Walk and hike more
3. Go on a photo hike / outing once a month
4. Get better at marketing my photography business and doing follow-ups
5. Learn the ins and outs of Lightroom
6. I hope to go full-time at Lola Felli and see that company grow and succeed
7. Pay off some / most of my debt
8. Hopefully do a bridal show for Arielle Haze Photography
9. A healthy and happy year for my kitties
10. Go to Disneyland more (with my annual pass)
11. Spending more quality time with Kyle
12. Driving down the PCH again sometime in the Spring
13. Going camping with friends around the state
14. I want to try more vegan and vegetarian restaurants in LA
15. Learning more songs for karaoke outings
Here are some specific things I am looking forward to (in no particular order):
* Bridal shows with Lola Felli
* Going to S.FL for Katrina’s wedding in June
* WPPI in Vegas (if I can afford it)
* Broomball in February
* New Orleans trip in December
* 6th Annual Cracker / Camper Camp-Out in September
* Driving down the PCH again
* Meeting the new additions to my friends’ families (lots of babies due this year) – mostly in the Spring
* Seeing the next Harry Potter movie in November
* Seeing Alice in Wonderland in March
* Bats Day in mid-Spring
